My head hurts when I read Rio School District Board stories….

When I read this story in the Star in this morning, the throbbing in my head was almost instantaneous. Rio has had its fair share of problems, with the revolving door of board members and superintendents over the last decade, nevertheless five-finger discount Sherianne Cotterell. The VCReporter then did a story about all the problems in the district last year and I received a hostile phone call from one of the board members, where she was yelling at me, telling me I don’t know anything and that she just wanted to put the bad things in the past. Though I managed to calm her down and I guess we were amicable, I never forgot her fierce attitude that day.

Though board members had filed a number of complaints with the DA about Brown Act violations, it seemed as though the board had been relatively quiet over the last six months. Did the minority of the board give up? Does the majority stick together so much that it might as well be a three-person board? I haven’t been following it as of late, but I can only hope the lines aren’t so clearly drawn as they have been in the past. But then I read the story this morning and it’s sounds like the same old high school antics and it was such a disappointment. Maybe the board president said more and the reporter at the Star only noted one particular comment, but to say that certain board members need to stop trying to get people in trouble–that’s an absurd thing to say.

As responsible adults acting as role models for children, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong in filing complaints, politically motivated or not. It’s what we do to keep each other in check, to be culpable, to be responsible. I can’t say whether the grievances were founded–clearly the DA thought a couple of them were–but to try to play some juvenile popularity contest where the minority is isolated and told to sit in the corner, or so it seems, well, it’s just disappointing. AGAIN.

Until the bullying stops, until the behaviors and decisions are clear cut, it is obvious that we should have the DA serving as a watchdog, members should continue to file complaints if they feel something is wrong, and that should be the end of the story.

Can you imagine an teacher rebuking a child for telling on another child for wrongdoing, like cheating? What lessons are we teaching at Rio via the board? Disappointing, indeed.

“I think that all these Brown Act complaints, trying to get people in trouble or whatever their reasoning is for filing, it really should just stop,” Eleanor Torres said at the meeting. “Let’s just try to go forward and not waste their time on matters that aren’t being taken into any further step.”

Read more: http://www.vcstar.com/news/2012/jan/25/rio-school-district-tops-list-for-brown-act/#ixzz1kajAjdA4
- vcstar.com

Problems with VYBA

This year I was pretty darn thrilled my son could get into Ventura Youth Basketball Association. Last year, he was old enough only to participate in a private league where the coaches would then proceed to try to win him over to Jesus after the games. I know perhaps they meant well, but for those of us who don’t follow the same philosophy, it was rather irritating when we wanted to leave and they wanted to pressure my little guy.

Anyhow, this year, we joined VYBA, thinking it was going to be just the same as AYSO league, organized coaches, strict age requirements and so forth. Well, that isn’t exactly the way it has panned out. My son’s coaches (husband and wife) were asked by VYBA to coach two teams, which they did because the league really needed coaches. But that hasn’t boded well for really anyone it seems.

My son has missed a series of basketball practices because they were either held in the middle of a workday or because the days kept switching and there was simply no way I could accommodate an ever evolving schedule. Then, this week, the dates and times changed from the dates and times the coaches had sent out a week earlier (It happened Sunday several parents showed up at the wrong time since the coaches told them one thing and did another) and it’s happening again for today and tomorrow–which day? no one seems to know and the coaches aren’t getting back to anyone. Do I blame the volunteer coaches? Maybe… I am not enthusiastic about how poorly organized everything is. But the real problem is with the league itself. Not only does it seem to be struggling to train coaches to have enough so that parents aren’t put in a predicament like my son’s coaches, but it is also putting kids in the wrong age groups.

I recall showing up to VYBA tryouts. They evaluated the kids to make sure they were in the right age groups and appropriately placed based on skills. Last weekend though, my son’s team took on the average team except for what appeared to be a ringer. The kid on average was a foot taller than the rest of the kids, knew how to do moves that kids years older only knew how to do. Our team lost, 48-10. You may say I am a bitter parent. Sure! Who wants to see their kids team get smashed? But in all honesty, my mom’s boyfriend made a profound statement. “That kid isn’t learning anything.”

And that’s true. He wasn’t. He was so overly skilled compared to the level the rest were at, it is no wonder he won’t learn anything. He got all the rebounds, made most of the baskets, did a lot of the dribbling, did most of the passing. He was the hero. But he was also competing in a league far below his skill set. So, what kind of hero for that team is he really?

I understand I may sound bitter, that this is just me griping. But I have never seen so many problems in AYSO. Maybe I was spoiled, but the kids seemed to be in the right place and the practices were always the same. Not this time… I wonder, what can be done to fix this? I know there are more coaches out there to volunteer. OR maybe not.

oh yeah… and Happy Holidays!

Since my last post was written from my deep cynical side, I decided round it out with a HO! HO! HO! and a happy holiday cheer! To you and yours. Married or not.

Why the rush–to get married?

When I was a little girl, I never imagined my wedding or my wedding cake, or my white dress, or saying “I do” to the man of my dreams. It was never a dream of mine to get married. But now at 31, I feel like something is wrong with me… only in the terms of how society perceives me since I am yet to do it… But more, I feel like something is wrong with society as more marriages than ever before end in divorce than in death, so be those sacred vows, and yet people still want to get married.

In the last three years that I have been involved in a relationship–a relationship where we still live apart though we are neighbors and spend every day together, where we don’t talk about marriage and the idea of having another kid for me is more of a financial hardship than I can even bear to imagine– three high school/college acquaintances have tied the knot.

The first acquaintance moved in with her guy within six months of dating–she was a single mother who had never been married before. By 8 months, they were engaged. A few months later, married. Now she is 7 months pregnant. Sounds lovely, but her husband has had a rough time finding work–even before they were married– and just recently, after finally getting a full time job, he was fired because allegedly he put some personal priorities over getting his work done. She is the primary financial supporter for the family. (I can’t imagine how maternity leave will be.)

The second acquaintance, who got married when she was 18 or 19, had two kids, then divorced a few years later, got hitched in the last year. She had known the guy since she was kid and ran in the same circles for decades. They finally connected on a more intimate level last year and decided to get married–as I recall, she said to him after dating for only a few months, Let’s spend the rest of our lives together. Now 6-8 months into their marriage, she comes to find out his so-called good friend, an elusive woman to her, was actually his ex-girlfriend and they had been texting some inappropriate messages for a married man. So… she kicked him out. Still torn about working out with him, she is in limbo. Also, the guy didn’t have a car or a full time job when they got married. She supported the family… He contributed just slightly.

The third acquaintance met a guy through her youtube channel. They dated for one month. Moved in together the next month. Then were engaged the following month. Three months later, as far as I recall, they sealed the deal at the courthouse. She moved back to California where they got married on the beach in a formal ceremony. While she once had a good job when she met him, she was laid off. He didn’t have a job. So they both moved to California with her family and still had no luck finding jobs. They both moved back to the East Coast with his family and supposedly found some low-wage, low-skill jobs. She spent all over her savings supporting the two of them. Now the kicker–she was 28 and he was 18, just out of high school and she was his first…

So maybe I have some colorful acquaintances. Maybe there is no ideal situation where two people should get married or perhaps, no one ever gets married, has kids or any of it for the right reasons or at the right time. As far as I can tell, there is NO reason to get married. And for that matter, having kids while struggling to pay the bills seems unfair to everyone–trust me, been there and still doing that. But yet, despite any practical notions about life, stability, success, even happiness, the idea of love, marriage and commitment seems to make the most rational person do some pretty crazy stuff well past the age of their youthful and crazy late teens and early 20s. But… with all that we know about heartache, divorce, child support court proceedings, so many are still willing to put it all on the line for…. What? Achieving some ideal societal standard that has proven to fail over and over? To make the loneliness go away?

I just don’t get it. And honestly, I am not sure I want to get it. Perhaps I am a hopeless cynic. Maybe I am a hardened soul. But maybe, I will eat my words and take the blue pill (unlike Neo), get married and have a baby while my partner still has no job. …

Must read books

I know this is going to sound bad, but I can’t tell you the names of three books I have read recently. Shame on me, I know. But understand, that is pretty much all I do all day. I read, I write, I discuss ideas, then I read, I write, I discuss ideas. It’s not that I don’t want to read for leisure, but the few books I have started–Nurture Shock, The Four Agreements, The Lost Symbol–well, none of them have pulled me in. While I read Angels and Demons in three days on vacation, I simply haven’t found anything as of late–fact of fiction–that I want to jump into. For my job, I read a lot about politics, about all the things are wrong in this world. It can be depressing at times thinking about how hard it is to instigate true change for the betterment of society. So, at this time, I am not too sure I am ready to read an autobiography of some great politician or even Gandhi for that matter. Yes, I know I sound shallow… But I am a bit worn out on great things that seem to have fallen to wayside and we are just in a bigger pickle these days. I am, however, easily persuaded. Having said that, I am looking for three good books that I can really get into. I used to love Edgar Allen Poe, John Grisham novels, crime/mystery with a hint of romance novels… I really enjoyed the world according to Garp. Not sure I could get into Clockwork Orange, given how good the movie was that made an everlasting impression. I refuse to get into Harry Potter or Twilight for what I believe are obvious reasons. But please. Enlighten me to your favorites. I am a journalist and an editor and I really want to expand my imagination horizon this winter. I look forward to your responses.

Brandon McInerney pleads guilty to voluntary manslaughter, second degree murder

It’s been nearly four years since that tragic incident at E.O. Green School in Oxnard. I remember hearing about the execution style murder, feeling enraged that some kid had the audacity to kill someone the way he did. As an vocal advocate for gay rights, the issue was black and white.
How wrong I was–the issue was so complicated that it was a learning lesson for everyone willing to see past the stereotypes.
But finally, the case is closed, a deal has been made and Brandon’s fate is sealed for the next 21 years. He will serve his time and eventually get out. Will he be reformed? Time will tell. Will he ever talk about what he did? We shall see. But hopefully he won’t become even that more hardened after serving 20 plus years in prison.

Dog-friendly, kid-friendly restaurants in Ventura County

Perhaps I am the only person in this area who cares about restaurants that have dog-friendly patios and kid-friendly atmospheres, but I have a feeling that isn’t accurate. I have been wrong in the past, but if you want to know or know someone who feels like they can’t get out anywhere with their little and/or furry loved ones, please let me know. I am certain the majority of people don’t want fur and kids yelling while they enjoy a meal, but maybe there are a few who want to go out and can’t because VC just isn’t catering to us. Send a shout out if you read this post and I will see what I can do to get the word out about restaurants that are… friendly. Thanks!

VCReporter endorses Bill Knox

I have had a number of people ask me why a so-called liberal rag would endorse a tea party candidate. To them I say one thing–why not? Should we always go with the dems, abiding by the status quo, or should we see if a tax attorney with views very different than our own might be able to shake things up at Ventura City Hall? While I think the Tea Party is a silly notion unto itself (tea bags hanging from their ears in protest? ridiculous), it doesn’t mean that there aren’t some good ideas floating around in the party. Also, isn’t this country supposed to encourage and support diverse views?
One more thing to top off, a rumor has been going around that he works for Elton Gallegly. Well, he did intern for him–8 years ago. I can’t be certain he won’t look for an opportunity to work for him in the future, however, I can’t hold it against him what he was doing in college, getting his law degree and trying to better his resume. Heck, I moved to Fresno to start my career–not to dismiss my friends there who love it there–but, it certainly wasn’t the best time of my life. Anyhow, we shall see what comes of Knox’s political career. Will he make it to council then springboard into another position, like his polar opposite Das Williams? We shall see….

Bravo Elizabeth Warren

(Pulled from Alternet)
Elizabeth Warren Puts the Kibosh on GOP’s “Class Warfare”: Nobody in This Country Got Rich on His Own”
Newly-announced senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is proving her progressive street cred on her “talking tour” with powerful and sensible talking points on the usefulness of government in people’s lives. She’s doing the activists who petitioned for her entrance in the race proud.

Would that all Democrats could be this feisty!

Here’s a transcript, via rumproast:

I hear all this, you know, “Well, this is class warfare, this is whatever.”—No!

There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.

You built a factory out there—good for you! But I want to be clear.

You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for.

You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate.

You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for.

You didn’t have to worry that maurauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did.

Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea—God bless. Keep a big hunk of it.

But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.

GOP: The truth hurts. Get used to it.

http://www.alternet.org/newsandviews/article/669655/elizabeth_warren_puts_the_kibosh_on_gop%27s_%22class_warfare%22%3A_nobody_in_this_country_got_rich_on_his_own%22/#paragraph7

Ortiz knockout

Suffice to say, I was disappointed at how the whole thing went down between Mayweather and our local boxer Ortiz. First Ortiz headbutts him, then hugs and kisses him and then Mayweather knocks out Ortiz while he is talking to the ref.
lame.